It’s hard to be confident about your parenting these days. Instead of neighborhood and family assurance everything will turn out fine, we get criticism and implied criticism from every corner:
Not to mention criticism from the children themselves: “Jamie’s parents let her do it,” “It’s not fair,” “If you really loved me …”
We think everything would be fine if we were sure of the right thing to do, but it’s even more important to be sure of ourselves. Otherwise, the moment someone questions our actions, we’ll begin suspecting that we either chose the wrong approach, or are doing something the wrong way. When we see ourselves as incompetent, we go about desperate for everyone to reassure us we got it right this time.
Self-confident people, by contrast, choose what they know is right for their families. You know you have self-confidence when:
Don’t think that your own self-confidence or lack thereof doesn’t affect your kids. Having a parent short on self-confidence means that children:
You can increase your self-confidence and your children’s through the following family activities:
Were you puzzled at the recommendations to admit mistakes: “I thought self-confidence meant being confident you’re always right”? No: that’s arrogance, not self-confidence. And arrogant people are typically lacking in self-confidence: they equate any mistake with personal worthlessness, so they’re terrified of mistakes. They avoid trying new things because learning requires error, and they adamantly deny the mistakes they do make. While self-confidence helps everyone grow together and grow closer, arrogance shrinks people into self-absorbed, ineffective, miserable loners.
It’s impossible to be human without making mistakes. Accepting that fact is vital for you—and your children—to grow into the self-confident, high-functioning individuals you were made to be.