MAKE EVERY DAY A LUCKY DAY

MAKE EVERY DAY A LUCKY DAY

You’ve probably heard of the “law of attraction” or the “power of positive thinking”—expect good things and good things will come to you. Which is true, but it doesn’t work quite as simply as describing what you want and seeing it appear.

Don’t Play Genie to Your Kids

You don’t do children any favors by granting whatever they wish, no effort or patience required on their part. Not that you should demand, “Why should I give it to you?” every time they request a kiss, but kids need to understand that “Ask and ye shall receive” doesn’t guarantee the right to dictate the exact time and manner of receiving. If they don’t learn that from you, they’ll be in for a lot of frustration when they meet “askees” who aren’t afraid of a little disappointment. (This includes Higher Powers: wise “askees” know when instant gratification will only lead to more problems.)

Make a Habit of Speaking in Positive Terms

Phrases containing negative words (or, worse, actively prophesying negative results) tempt people to focus on, and therefore invite, the wrong things.

Need it be said? Avoid labeling children—or yourself—as “slow,” “clumsy,” “disrespectful,” or anything else that identifies a person with an annoying habit. Set a positive standard to live up to, focusing on good traits and treating mistakes as temporary setbacks.

Know What You Want

Show your kids by instruction and example how to set goals, use positive affirmations, and create vision boards. Emphasize being specific; vague terms such as “more” invite vague results. Let children be free to match their goals to their passions; don’t apply subtle pressure to follow your dreams. And if a child’s dream sounds impossible, keep quiet, and trust he will eventually figure out how to modify (or achieve!) it.

Work for What You Want

A common misconception regarding positive thinking is that if you get the thinking right, no further action is necessary. Effective thinking attracts good things from outside, yes; but it also clarifies for the thinker what she needs to do. (Corollary to the above warning about “playing genie”: if your children complain that visualization “isn’t working,” you may be tempted to step in and grant their wish yourself. Don’t: this short-circuits the natural procedure, and shifts the children’s focus from learning self-reliance back to depending on you.)

Stay Grateful at All Times

A common misconception regarding positive thinking is that if you get the thinking right, no further action is necessary. Effective thinking attracts good things from outside, yes; but it also clarifies for the thinker what she needs to do. (Corollary to the above warning about “playing genie”: if your children complain that visualization “isn’t working,” you may be tempted to step in and grant their wish yourself. Don’t: this short-circuits the natural procedure, and shifts the children’s focus from learning self-reliance back to depending on you.)